Jealousy

I hate mini-vans, and I always feel bad for the dad who has been de-masculated by driving one; however, yesterday I found myself jealous.  I wasn't jealous of the mini-van itself.  I was jealous of those moms I was passing.  They had their car full of kids shuttling them from place to place, and that was their only responsibility.
Dustin and I are house shopping, and I can't help but look at all the empty bedrooms and think how wonderful it would be to fill them up.  You see, I am definitely in a honeymoon phase of parenthood.  I have recovered from  delivery, but Miles isn't walking and talking.  I want a hundred more just like him!

Full Moon

I used to laugh at a 1st grade teacher-friend who would mark her calendar when the full moon would be, so she could be prepared for crazy students.  Today, I had one of those teaching days when you feel like a complete failure.  There was at least one child in each class that was so "off" it affected the entire group.  I attempted to teach lessons I know are successful, but it just wasn't happening today.  I jokingly asked another teacher if it was a full moon, and, of course, she said today was it.  That is combined with the local fair going on, where my students stay out late and consume large amounts of sugar.  Dear Lord, please let the craziness subside SOON.  Amen.

7 months

Miles will be 7 months old this week. He eats like a champ, sleeps like a champ, and is generally a content little man. I have a feeling I'm going to look back on this time and think how good life was. I cried at work for the first time this week. I just wanted to go home and spend some time with Miles. I am always so busy I don't have time to think about it, but, for some reason, I could think of nothing else yesterday. I hope those days are few and far between.

Doom doom doom doom

I get this impending doom feeling every Sunday knowing I have to go to work the next day.  I'm really a "take things as they are and deal with it" kind of person, so it surprises me every week when it happens.  I like my job.  I feel comfortable leaving Miles with my parents.  I wonder what it is?  At least this Monday is Labor Day!

shots

Poor baby Miles!  He had to get his 6-month shots yesterday.   For the 1st time, he showed anxiety as the doctor examined him: shaking his hands frantically but not crying.  He screamed and cried during the 3 shots but stopped as soon as I held him.  He's such a tough kid.  They weighed and measured him.  Bless his heart, his head is in the 96th percentile!  I'm taking that to mean he has a large smart brain in there.  (No wonder he got stuck on the way out!)

I miss the early days.  I cried at his pain for the first shots.  He had to nurse to be calmed and comforted afterward.  AND...he didn't try to eat the band-aides on the way home!  

It is what it is

It is what it is...this may be my mantra for the school year. We all need to vent sometimes, but the constant griping, complaining and whining I hear each day can really pull people down and usually does no good. It is what it is, or as my principal says, "put on your big girl panties and deal with it." Let me assure you it is not a dream situation to teach up to 10 classes a day at 3 schools over 35 minutes from home, but if I dwell on the logistics, I miss out on my purpose: to find a way for each of the 1000+ students I teach to connect with music. Let's do it!

The Dreaded Day

Since February, I have dreaded the day I had to go back to work and leave Miles. The past 6 months have been better than I ever dreamed. I thought for sure I would be going stir crazy at home, but I loved spending every waking moment with little man and meeting his every need.

The trip home from the beach Saturday was tough. I cried the whole way. My stomache ached and my heart felt as if it would burst just thinking about going back to work.

Getting those emotions out ahead of time really helped me face today. I handed a happy baby to my parents and headed off to work...no tears. The hardest parts were making the 45 minute drive to pick him up, him taking a nap when I wanted to play, and only getting to spend 3 hours with him all day.

It's just not enough!