First Summer

I graduated from Salem 10 years ago and married my high school sweetheart a few months later. As teachers, this is our first summer "off" together in those 10 years. One of us has always been in school.
I'm not going to lie. I was nervous. I felt like the first of the few summers of my stay-at-home mom life came WAY too fast. Plus, the three of us have never spent this much time together.
What am I learning?
1. Routine-nice to have one but it's ok if the pool, friends, or good food give us a reason to adjust
2. Freedom-nice to head off to teach a piano lesson or run to the store and have Daddy at home with the boy
3. BEACH!!! - nice that my Aunt moved to the beach last year (a month's not too long to stay, right?!)

Needless to say: I'm loving life. Thanks, again, Dustin!






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Snake Bite

For those of you that wanted the details: Miles and I went to the strawberry farm. After picking, we were petting the goats, when I thought a stick was poking my leg. I looked down, and a 3ft long black snake was hanging from my leg. I screamed bloody murder, shook my leg like crazy, knocking down 2 children on a field trip. It finally let go, but when I turned around, it had Miles cornered against the fence with its head all reared up. I yanked Miles straight up & out of the way. He thought it was so cool to see a snake. Miles tells everyone it was black & quiet. We later learned it was a black racer. They hunt during the day and definitely bight if they feel threatened.
The doctor did want to check me out just to make sure the bite looked ok and to check I had a recent Tetanus shot. I have some crazy "flash backs," but I am physically fine!
Let's just pray this is my 1 and only snake bite experience!






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Spring Break

Spring break was never a huge deal to me. I remember going to Charleston in 2001 as a junior in college. Actually, I would like to relive that week, if any of my Salem girls are interested :-)
Last year, my small little family hit Carolina Beach. Wow, we feel too comfortable there! Being a local would be no stretch for me.
This year, I almost forgot.
Easter is such the pinnacle of the Christian year, I hadn't thought past it.
Miles is starving for time with Daddy. I am SO glad it's here.
Let the fun begin :-)

Spiderman = our new superhero!

Mommy has now learned that the trunk of the station wagon is NO place to hide Easter gifts, but Miles loves his new "beach jeep!"

Riding a Bike

Right after we had Miles, Dustin and I got a little excited thinking about all the fun childhood things we'd get to relive with Miles.

We got a few chuckles when Miles received a bicycle for Christmas, but we explained this was a gift we'd hold until the summer when it would be warm and he'd be big enough to ride.
WRONG!
Yesterday, I had to beg Miles to come inside from riding. He hunkers down near the handle bars and says, "Miles go fast!"
On cold days. He flies around the bike shop "racing" Pops.
I have a feeling he's going to want those training wheels off before this mama is ready.

This is a preview of many bad school photos to come.

Free Desk :-)  Thanks, MOPS swap!

2-year-old visit to Dr. Ellis...27lbs and 34in

My Closet

I finally resolved to begin the attack on my closet today. It's become a catch-all for Miles' dress clothes & clothes he's not ready for, movies Miles would destroy if left out, and my shoe & clothes "collection."
COLLECTION is the key word here. It struck me as I was sorting through the closet that I could tell exactly who I was with when I purchased these clothes.
MOM: super conservative dress clothes
MOM-IN-LAW: versatile & classic
DUSTIN: Ralph Lauren or as short as possible
ME: the same piece of clothing in every color because it fit

On a side note, we had a blast at Great Wolf Lodge!

Tears...on the flip side

I cried this week.  I accidentally hit my arm really hard, cried, and then stopped, thinking, "when was the last time I cried?"  Then, I cried just a few seconds longer in excitement that I couldn't remember the last time I'd cried.  A year ago, I was quite possibly in the darkest place of my life.  It is so exciting to finally realize I'm on the flip side.  I entered this school year really hoping I was only going to work until Christmas.  I taught my favorite lessons, didn't sweat the small stuff, and was able to get out of bed each morning hoping this would all end soon.  With encouragement from close friends and family, I resigned to talk it all out with a therapist.  In session #1, she looked at me and said point blank the only way I was ever going to be happy was to be at home with Miles and that I actually deserved it.  She was right.  

Sunday afternoon fro yo date with Daddy

Almost 2

As a teacher, one thing I did not have patience for was whining. Students that constantly turn on the waterworks got no attention from me.
Now, I'm finding myself living with an almost 2-year-old that does just that, and I have patience I didn't know I was capable of. Of course, one reason is that he can't always communicate his frustrations in words. I'm still figuring out how to best handle his meltdowns, but I still can't get over the compassion and understanding God grants me as his mom.

Week 3: Dustin

The highlights of this week were not mommy revelations but the time I spent with Dustin.

This week, Dustin and I went on our first date together in 6 months.  We cuddled up in a booth at Green Valley, ordered dessert and coffee first (his idea), and watched football.  He even took me to see a movie afterward (which happens once a year).  We held hands and alternated eating popcorn and candy.  I'm so glad I'm married to a man who still takes me on dates.

Dustin and I discussed our classrooms each night over dinner.  I've watched him play trumpet at gigs since he was 15, but when I walked into his band room this week, I realized I'd never seen him teach or conduct.  His teaching situation is not easy, and I was so proud to see how his hard work is paying off.  The students show him respect, and his pep band sounds great.

I am married to an amazing man.  We've grown up together.  He is a wonderful father to Miles, and his love for me showed the most when he helped keep our household and family going as I was crumbling and then let me do what I needed to be happy.  I know the pressure on him is greater now than ever, but he doesn't let it show.

I can't believe this is where we are nearly 10 years into our marriage.  I kind of feel like we've finally made it: strange!

Look who got carpet burn from crawling nose to the ground down the hallway...(still cute, though)

 

Week 2 "At Home"

I put at home in quotes, because we don't sit at home. Many acquaintances have asked if I'm going stir crazy yet, but my friends ask what Miles and I have been up to.
We've worked out something fun and small to do most days. I actually love scouring the Internet to see what fun, free events are coming up.
Twitter has become a great resource for mommy ideas, encouragement, and advice.
Having the time to plan and cook meals is so foreign to me, but I've been successful. so far.
I am working 8-10hrs a week for an accountant. It's been a great outlet to challenge my brain and interact with adults who discuss about other topics than mommy stuff.
It's so strange how normal this life feels. I don't even think about my teaching job. I didn't realize how much I wasn't getting done. It takes me nearly 2 hrs while Miles sleeps to keep the everyday things in this house going. No wonder I came home each day and shut down. It was overwhelming.
My favorite thing is to hear Miles tell people, "mama home!"

New Job

I never saw myself as "mommy" material, much less a stay-at-home mom, but that is the direction God led me this year. I cried many mornings at work during car duty, envious of those mothers driving their big SUVs, wearing workout clothes, dropping their beautiful children off at school. Then, I found myself in my own version of that image this week dressed in new workout clothes, walking my beautiful Miles into play school, and heading off in my VW wagon. I actually laughed out loud when I realized it. It's not often our dreams come true. I know this is not an outrageous dream, but it is the only dream I've had for 2 years. I am a whole new person: energized; excited about life; not dreading every morning; planning fun (free) things to do; even cooking meals! I am so grateful for the people God put in my path to make this possible.

18 Months

My summer was filled with graduate work, but my wonderful husband took us to the beach for two whole weeks to celebrate the end of summer.  Miles loves everything about the beach!  

My teaching position has changed.  I now only work at 2 schools, 1 of which is new to me.  So far, things are A LOT better than last year.

Today was another MILEStone.  We took down the baby gate.  It served us well for many months!  Miles is putting together 2-word phrases like "Bye Dada" or "My Ball."  He is into climbing and anything with wheels.  One of my favorite words to hear him say is "bicycle."  It's quite clear.

Daddy is super proud that Miles can make a sound on the trumpet.  After 18 months of perfecting his buzz, Miles can finally make a decent sound on the "baba" (trumpet).  So far, he is living up to his name!

Miles and his best buddy and cousin, Hannah.

The newest addition to our bathroom: The Elmo Potty

Mommy & Miles enjoying the beach

End in Sight

I survived the winter months when it seemed the school year may never end.  There were definite times I didn't think I could hold it together and make it through the day.  Now, I have three weeks left, and many of those days will be filled with testing, field days, and end-of-year ceremonies.  This will be my final summer of grad school, too.  I am SO thankful for the time change and extra daylight to spend with Miles.  He would be content to play outside all day every day.  This summer he will go to "school" for the first time.  We are sending him to mom's morning out 2 days a week.  Miles is extremely social, so I know it will be good for him to be around other children.  Here are some pics from the past few months:

What's a walk without sticks?

Running downhill

1st boo boo

At the playground

Swinging: Miles' favorite!

Mastitis

After a 2-month weaning period, this was our 1st week not breast feeding.  Miles did great.  I, on the other hand, developed Mastitis.  The lactation specialist told me to wear cabbage in my bra...ha!  (The art teacher I work with asked me if I had any pintos to go along with it.)  I finally gave in an called the doctor when I could barely lift my arm this morning.  Oh, the pain!  What's worse is that it doesn't stop there.  I also have flu-like symptoms from the infection.  I understand the antibiotics will help me feel better very soon.  I hope that means tomorrow!!!

Sadness

I did not get sad after I had Miles.  No one was worried about me having PPD.  The rare tears I shed were in complete and utter happiness.
One year later, I'm battling depression.  Working two jobs, falling on the ice, catching the flu, and being separated from Miles on a daily basis have taken their tole.  I cry in the mornings when he leaves.  I fight the urge to call and check on him during the day (he's fine!).  I cry at night just thinking about leaving him in the morning.  I didn't know so much sadness could come from so much joy.
I have been asking other moms if they had any trouble at the 1 year mark.  I know my hormones are in limbo from weaning.  No one I talk to seems to have experienced the same thing.  I hope to get some help from my midwife next week. 

I've got to do something.  Crying several times a day is exhausting, but I still have trouble getting to sleep.  When I do fall asleep, I have crazy dreams.  HELP!

Reflections

You probably expected this post to be reflections on parenting.  I guess it could be, but grad school consumes my free moments.  I am a reflection machine.  My final project includes 15 reflections on coursework I have completed over the past three years.  Many of these reflections I completed as I did the work, but I still have a few left to do.  I look back and see the purpose of every assignment and how it directly applies to my teaching today.  It truly is a beneficial process and one I should probably apply to more aspects of my life: faith, health, family.  What am I doing to have a better relationship with God, better health, and better family relationships?  I am almost tempted to follow the grad school reflective writing process and see what I find out.  Scary in more ways than one.  

Miles helps type reflections

Holidays

I thought for sure I would update my blog at some point during the holidays.  Truth be told: I was enjoying Miles and Dustin so much, I didn't even think to sit down at the computer and write.  

We did, in fact, put up a real Christmas tree with large multicolored "old-school" lights.

Snow on Christmas day was magnificent!  Miles loved every minute of time with his big families.  

I am just wrapping up an unexpected entire week at home with him due to snow.  I didn't get sad when we went back to school after the holidays, but I am getting sad, now, knowing I won't have a Spring break to look forward to.  Ah...it is what it is!    

This semester, I face the challenge of putting together my portfolio for the State of NC to pass for masters level teaching licensure.  I feel prepared and stressed at the same time.  I did not expect to me a mom and graduate student at the same time, but God knows what He's doing.  

Christmas Tree

I had a friend ask me if THIS year I would actually put up a Christmas tree (for baby Miles).

We took my parents with us when shopping for a new house.  The 1st question from the realtor was, "Where will you put the Christmas tree?"  My mother responded, "I think we overdid it with her as a child."

I don't know where it stems from, but I don't enjoy decorating a tree.  Our "fixins" are in the basement of Dustin's brother's house and haven't been seen for over 5 years.

No decision has been made, but we have discussed a small artificial tree for Miles' room and/or a real tree with lights on the porch.

I am actually excited about Christmas this year, but is a tree really necessary?

HOWEVER, I am going to send out one of those really cheesy Christmas cards with Miles front and center (just no Christmas letter; we're not that desperate for attention!).

Enjoy your Christmas...here it comes : )

Last Christmas

2 weeks ago...time flies!!!

Poor Baby

Miles had surgery this week.  I was prepared to boo hoo when I saw my screaming child after surgery, but it was just the opposite.  They took me to a small quiet room with a rocking chair.  I greeted a groggy baby who cuddled up immediately to nurse and go back to sleep.  I had also geared myself up to go back into newborn mode: sleep when the baby sleeps, etc., but he slid right back into his routine.  He is such a trooper!  The worst part has been strapping him into the car seat 48 hours later and hearing whimpers and seeing him grab at the buckle near his incisions.  Poor little buddy!  I was fine to go back home with him, even though my errands weren't done.  Actually, I'd be happy to stay home with him EVERY day.  I am amazed at how much I get done and how happy I am being home with the little man.  I am a different person.  I like this person and this life much better.  Oh, well.  

Jealousy

I hate mini-vans, and I always feel bad for the dad who has been de-masculated by driving one; however, yesterday I found myself jealous.  I wasn't jealous of the mini-van itself.  I was jealous of those moms I was passing.  They had their car full of kids shuttling them from place to place, and that was their only responsibility.
Dustin and I are house shopping, and I can't help but look at all the empty bedrooms and think how wonderful it would be to fill them up.  You see, I am definitely in a honeymoon phase of parenthood.  I have recovered from  delivery, but Miles isn't walking and talking.  I want a hundred more just like him!

Full Moon

I used to laugh at a 1st grade teacher-friend who would mark her calendar when the full moon would be, so she could be prepared for crazy students.  Today, I had one of those teaching days when you feel like a complete failure.  There was at least one child in each class that was so "off" it affected the entire group.  I attempted to teach lessons I know are successful, but it just wasn't happening today.  I jokingly asked another teacher if it was a full moon, and, of course, she said today was it.  That is combined with the local fair going on, where my students stay out late and consume large amounts of sugar.  Dear Lord, please let the craziness subside SOON.  Amen.