Week 3: Dustin

The highlights of this week were not mommy revelations but the time I spent with Dustin.

This week, Dustin and I went on our first date together in 6 months.  We cuddled up in a booth at Green Valley, ordered dessert and coffee first (his idea), and watched football.  He even took me to see a movie afterward (which happens once a year).  We held hands and alternated eating popcorn and candy.  I'm so glad I'm married to a man who still takes me on dates.

Dustin and I discussed our classrooms each night over dinner.  I've watched him play trumpet at gigs since he was 15, but when I walked into his band room this week, I realized I'd never seen him teach or conduct.  His teaching situation is not easy, and I was so proud to see how his hard work is paying off.  The students show him respect, and his pep band sounds great.

I am married to an amazing man.  We've grown up together.  He is a wonderful father to Miles, and his love for me showed the most when he helped keep our household and family going as I was crumbling and then let me do what I needed to be happy.  I know the pressure on him is greater now than ever, but he doesn't let it show.

I can't believe this is where we are nearly 10 years into our marriage.  I kind of feel like we've finally made it: strange!

Look who got carpet burn from crawling nose to the ground down the hallway...(still cute, though)

 

Week 2 "At Home"

I put at home in quotes, because we don't sit at home. Many acquaintances have asked if I'm going stir crazy yet, but my friends ask what Miles and I have been up to.
We've worked out something fun and small to do most days. I actually love scouring the Internet to see what fun, free events are coming up.
Twitter has become a great resource for mommy ideas, encouragement, and advice.
Having the time to plan and cook meals is so foreign to me, but I've been successful. so far.
I am working 8-10hrs a week for an accountant. It's been a great outlet to challenge my brain and interact with adults who discuss about other topics than mommy stuff.
It's so strange how normal this life feels. I don't even think about my teaching job. I didn't realize how much I wasn't getting done. It takes me nearly 2 hrs while Miles sleeps to keep the everyday things in this house going. No wonder I came home each day and shut down. It was overwhelming.
My favorite thing is to hear Miles tell people, "mama home!"

New Job

I never saw myself as "mommy" material, much less a stay-at-home mom, but that is the direction God led me this year. I cried many mornings at work during car duty, envious of those mothers driving their big SUVs, wearing workout clothes, dropping their beautiful children off at school. Then, I found myself in my own version of that image this week dressed in new workout clothes, walking my beautiful Miles into play school, and heading off in my VW wagon. I actually laughed out loud when I realized it. It's not often our dreams come true. I know this is not an outrageous dream, but it is the only dream I've had for 2 years. I am a whole new person: energized; excited about life; not dreading every morning; planning fun (free) things to do; even cooking meals! I am so grateful for the people God put in my path to make this possible.

18 Months

My summer was filled with graduate work, but my wonderful husband took us to the beach for two whole weeks to celebrate the end of summer.  Miles loves everything about the beach!  

My teaching position has changed.  I now only work at 2 schools, 1 of which is new to me.  So far, things are A LOT better than last year.

Today was another MILEStone.  We took down the baby gate.  It served us well for many months!  Miles is putting together 2-word phrases like "Bye Dada" or "My Ball."  He is into climbing and anything with wheels.  One of my favorite words to hear him say is "bicycle."  It's quite clear.

Daddy is super proud that Miles can make a sound on the trumpet.  After 18 months of perfecting his buzz, Miles can finally make a decent sound on the "baba" (trumpet).  So far, he is living up to his name!

Miles and his best buddy and cousin, Hannah.

The newest addition to our bathroom: The Elmo Potty

Mommy & Miles enjoying the beach

End in Sight

I survived the winter months when it seemed the school year may never end.  There were definite times I didn't think I could hold it together and make it through the day.  Now, I have three weeks left, and many of those days will be filled with testing, field days, and end-of-year ceremonies.  This will be my final summer of grad school, too.  I am SO thankful for the time change and extra daylight to spend with Miles.  He would be content to play outside all day every day.  This summer he will go to "school" for the first time.  We are sending him to mom's morning out 2 days a week.  Miles is extremely social, so I know it will be good for him to be around other children.  Here are some pics from the past few months:

What's a walk without sticks?

Running downhill

1st boo boo

At the playground

Swinging: Miles' favorite!

Mastitis

After a 2-month weaning period, this was our 1st week not breast feeding.  Miles did great.  I, on the other hand, developed Mastitis.  The lactation specialist told me to wear cabbage in my bra...ha!  (The art teacher I work with asked me if I had any pintos to go along with it.)  I finally gave in an called the doctor when I could barely lift my arm this morning.  Oh, the pain!  What's worse is that it doesn't stop there.  I also have flu-like symptoms from the infection.  I understand the antibiotics will help me feel better very soon.  I hope that means tomorrow!!!

Sadness

I did not get sad after I had Miles.  No one was worried about me having PPD.  The rare tears I shed were in complete and utter happiness.
One year later, I'm battling depression.  Working two jobs, falling on the ice, catching the flu, and being separated from Miles on a daily basis have taken their tole.  I cry in the mornings when he leaves.  I fight the urge to call and check on him during the day (he's fine!).  I cry at night just thinking about leaving him in the morning.  I didn't know so much sadness could come from so much joy.
I have been asking other moms if they had any trouble at the 1 year mark.  I know my hormones are in limbo from weaning.  No one I talk to seems to have experienced the same thing.  I hope to get some help from my midwife next week. 

I've got to do something.  Crying several times a day is exhausting, but I still have trouble getting to sleep.  When I do fall asleep, I have crazy dreams.  HELP!