Christmas Tree

I had a friend ask me if THIS year I would actually put up a Christmas tree (for baby Miles).

We took my parents with us when shopping for a new house.  The 1st question from the realtor was, "Where will you put the Christmas tree?"  My mother responded, "I think we overdid it with her as a child."

I don't know where it stems from, but I don't enjoy decorating a tree.  Our "fixins" are in the basement of Dustin's brother's house and haven't been seen for over 5 years.

No decision has been made, but we have discussed a small artificial tree for Miles' room and/or a real tree with lights on the porch.

I am actually excited about Christmas this year, but is a tree really necessary?

HOWEVER, I am going to send out one of those really cheesy Christmas cards with Miles front and center (just no Christmas letter; we're not that desperate for attention!).

Enjoy your Christmas...here it comes : )

Last Christmas

2 weeks ago...time flies!!!

Poor Baby

Miles had surgery this week.  I was prepared to boo hoo when I saw my screaming child after surgery, but it was just the opposite.  They took me to a small quiet room with a rocking chair.  I greeted a groggy baby who cuddled up immediately to nurse and go back to sleep.  I had also geared myself up to go back into newborn mode: sleep when the baby sleeps, etc., but he slid right back into his routine.  He is such a trooper!  The worst part has been strapping him into the car seat 48 hours later and hearing whimpers and seeing him grab at the buckle near his incisions.  Poor little buddy!  I was fine to go back home with him, even though my errands weren't done.  Actually, I'd be happy to stay home with him EVERY day.  I am amazed at how much I get done and how happy I am being home with the little man.  I am a different person.  I like this person and this life much better.  Oh, well.  

Jealousy

I hate mini-vans, and I always feel bad for the dad who has been de-masculated by driving one; however, yesterday I found myself jealous.  I wasn't jealous of the mini-van itself.  I was jealous of those moms I was passing.  They had their car full of kids shuttling them from place to place, and that was their only responsibility.
Dustin and I are house shopping, and I can't help but look at all the empty bedrooms and think how wonderful it would be to fill them up.  You see, I am definitely in a honeymoon phase of parenthood.  I have recovered from  delivery, but Miles isn't walking and talking.  I want a hundred more just like him!

Full Moon

I used to laugh at a 1st grade teacher-friend who would mark her calendar when the full moon would be, so she could be prepared for crazy students.  Today, I had one of those teaching days when you feel like a complete failure.  There was at least one child in each class that was so "off" it affected the entire group.  I attempted to teach lessons I know are successful, but it just wasn't happening today.  I jokingly asked another teacher if it was a full moon, and, of course, she said today was it.  That is combined with the local fair going on, where my students stay out late and consume large amounts of sugar.  Dear Lord, please let the craziness subside SOON.  Amen.

7 months

Miles will be 7 months old this week. He eats like a champ, sleeps like a champ, and is generally a content little man. I have a feeling I'm going to look back on this time and think how good life was. I cried at work for the first time this week. I just wanted to go home and spend some time with Miles. I am always so busy I don't have time to think about it, but, for some reason, I could think of nothing else yesterday. I hope those days are few and far between.

Doom doom doom doom

I get this impending doom feeling every Sunday knowing I have to go to work the next day.  I'm really a "take things as they are and deal with it" kind of person, so it surprises me every week when it happens.  I like my job.  I feel comfortable leaving Miles with my parents.  I wonder what it is?  At least this Monday is Labor Day!

shots

Poor baby Miles!  He had to get his 6-month shots yesterday.   For the 1st time, he showed anxiety as the doctor examined him: shaking his hands frantically but not crying.  He screamed and cried during the 3 shots but stopped as soon as I held him.  He's such a tough kid.  They weighed and measured him.  Bless his heart, his head is in the 96th percentile!  I'm taking that to mean he has a large smart brain in there.  (No wonder he got stuck on the way out!)

I miss the early days.  I cried at his pain for the first shots.  He had to nurse to be calmed and comforted afterward.  AND...he didn't try to eat the band-aides on the way home!  

It is what it is

It is what it is...this may be my mantra for the school year. We all need to vent sometimes, but the constant griping, complaining and whining I hear each day can really pull people down and usually does no good. It is what it is, or as my principal says, "put on your big girl panties and deal with it." Let me assure you it is not a dream situation to teach up to 10 classes a day at 3 schools over 35 minutes from home, but if I dwell on the logistics, I miss out on my purpose: to find a way for each of the 1000+ students I teach to connect with music. Let's do it!

The Dreaded Day

Since February, I have dreaded the day I had to go back to work and leave Miles. The past 6 months have been better than I ever dreamed. I thought for sure I would be going stir crazy at home, but I loved spending every waking moment with little man and meeting his every need.

The trip home from the beach Saturday was tough. I cried the whole way. My stomache ached and my heart felt as if it would burst just thinking about going back to work.

Getting those emotions out ahead of time really helped me face today. I handed a happy baby to my parents and headed off to work...no tears. The hardest parts were making the 45 minute drive to pick him up, him taking a nap when I wanted to play, and only getting to spend 3 hours with him all day.

It's just not enough!

"natural" childbirth

I am 30 and the mom to a beautiful 6-month-old baby boy.  

We always said we didn't want children.  Then, last Spring, we decided to give it a try.  Whoa!  We got pregnant on the first try. I took a pregnancy test after my 1st missed period, and it gave us a false negative.  Three weeks later  I posted on FB that I wasn't feeling well, so a long-time friend asked if I was pregnant...I immediately deleted the post and took a pregnancy test.  After a "what have we done" moment alone, I realized this was it.  My husband was out of town.  I went out to dinner with my very best friend (who was 8-months pregnant and took me baby shopping) and didn't say a word.  I googled "how to tell your husband you're pregnant" and decided to give him a bib that says, "I Love Daddy." The next day, July 4th, I gave him the bib when he stopped through town on his way to the next show.  We immediately called my parents, who lived out of town, then headed to his parents' cook out.  His mom had a baby ring ready to give me.  She said, "I had a feeling."  I wore that ring around my neck on a necklace until the day Miles was born.  My husband played his evening gig, and the band told the whole town he had a baby on the way...ready or not, EVERYONE knew!               

I had already started seeing a midwife in an OBGYN practice.  I felt this was the best of both worlds.  I wanted natural childbirth in a hospital.  At my 40-week appointment, the baby's fluid was low and the baby was measuring very big.  They made a decision to induce me.  (We didn't know the sex of the baby.)  I made it through labor beautifully on the yoga ball and in the water.  The midwife attempted several times to maneuver  the baby's head into the proper position, but he just wouldn't cooperate.  After 12 hours of labor, I got an epidural, and Miles was delivered by suction (with the help of a Jamaican doctor who watched Olympic bobsledding through my delivery, really!).  

I knew the whole time he was a boy...ask anyone : )   He is named after Miles Davis, a famous jazz trumpet player.   

Sadly, exactly one week after his birthday, I started hemorrhaging.   My husband had to call 911, and I was taken to the local hospital.  Sweet baby Miles slept through the entire ordeal.  They let him come into the ER room to nurse.  I had to have a DNC, because my placenta did not detach correctly from my uterus.  The 3 of us spent 2 nights in the hospital together.  

It took me 6 weeks to feel like a human being again, 3 months not to relieve my experience daily, and 5 months not to feel the pain from my epidural.  

Surprisingly, I am ready to do it all again, just not tomorrow!